Names Have Power

"There are lots of books and movies where people are warned, “Don’t take their name, it holds power!” We can see this in some of the most famous franchises, The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings where names are tied to identity and power, in Harry Potter where “Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself”. Names are tied to the person themselves, where in Wizard of the Earthsea, Folk of the Air and Eragon, knowing someone’s true name can give you full power over them, or in Beetlejuice, saying his name three times can summon him. There are so many more examples, and they show us how names are connected to our true identity. Names aren’t only the way people call us, but the way they perceive us and the way we perceive ourselves.

I first started thinking about this a few days ago, when I was with my mom signing up for some new subscription, and I had to give my full name. My name is Mrinal, but over the years I’ve heard my name be butchered so many times that my first instinct is to introduce myself as Mili. Most of my friends, and even teachers, call me Mili, all our family friends know me as Mili, so I have basically become Mili now. It’s not as if I won’t respond to Mrinal, or I don’t recognise it as my name, but I’ve had a complicated history with it. I remember 1st grade where my, very English, teacher couldn’t pronounce my name, and I didn’t even try to correct her. I remember my friend fighting for me because another girl was, unknowingly, mispronouncing my name, and I told her to let it go and told the other she was right and just walked away. I remember every first day where teachers called out attendance, and I quietly told them they could call me Mili if it was easier, most did, thank god.

The tell is in what gets over-described

Coming back to a few days ago, where I told the receptionist, who was on the phone with the manager, my full name and he repeated it back. From the other end, I heard something like “What kind of name is that?” and the guy responded “I’m not about to ask” but in another language that they didn’t know we understood. I felt kind of embarrassed but I didn’t think too much of it. My mother, on the other hand, saw his sheepish smile and remarked “Yea, what an unusual name” while nudging me and winking. I thought in my head, Yea says the person who gave it to me. After that was done, we walked away and my mom said to me that if you really want to, you can change your name when you’re a little older. I just kind of froze for a moment, as much as I didn’t “like” my name, it was still mine right? I’ve never thought about changing my name, it literally never occurred to me. And it was such a strange and simple thought that my mother threw out so casually, and in that moment I felt strangely possessive of my name.

“There is power in a name. It is through names that we bring all things into this world, and when they leave, it is names we carry with us, so they are never truly gone.” - Justin Cronin, The Ferrymen

I still associated myself with Mrinal, that was the name given to me at birth, what my parents thought of when they first saw my face. Mrinal means the stem of a lotus flower, beautiful and elegant on the surface, and strong and resilient even in the toughest waves, under the water. This is what my mom told 8-year-old me, one morning when I was complaining to her about my name. It made me appreciate it a whole lot more. Ever since then, I don’t think of my name as something I need to hide or be embarrassed about. Sure, it can be exhausting, and yes, in casual settings, I will always prefer my nickname, but I actually love my name. It’s bold, and different on purpose, and it’s about me, for me. It’s a part of me, my heritage, my family, my identity and will always be a part of my future, not in spite of my past with it, but because of it. I guess names really do have power.